I work with pre-k / K age children who have been diagnosed with autism, many of which have high anxiety at times. I’m looking to expand my list of coping strategies for these children as wide as possible. I’m asking you to please comment with any and all coping strategies you’ve used or known to have been used with young children, and also please share this post so I can collect as many ideas as possible. I very much appreciate you taking your time to help me help these amazing children! 
Tag: children
FINALLY! Nini’s Home!! A sweet little story of a Grandma and her 2 granddaughters.
Cheetos and Twinkies and Fruit Snacks OH MY! Yes, yes, mom of the year award, I know, but it’s a special day. Nini (Grandma) is FINALLY home! Also it’s New Year’s Eve, but the holiday is NOTHING compared to having Nini home!
I thought today’s daily prompt word was perfect for me, especially since I was planning on posting about this today already!
My mom lives in the same town that I do, but since my sister is in the air force, my mom goes and stays with her for months at a time too. My sister and I don’t live within a reasonable driving distance, so when my mom is there we don’t get to see her (other than face time) until she comes home. Nini (my mom) had been gone for about 6 months this last time, and my daughters have been asking a lot about when Nini would be coming home.
For the last 2 weeks the girls have been constantly asking, “Mama, how many more days until Nini comes home?” Then, yesterday morning when they woke up, I could hear them from our bedroom singing, “Nini’s coming home today, Nini’s coming home today!” It was so sweet! Once we were all up, the girls began asking, what time do we get to go get Nini? It was sweet at first, but after the 10th time I was ready to rip my hair out!
Have you seen that commercial ad for the show Family Guy, where the baby is in the parents room going, “Mom, mom, mom, mama, mom, mommy, mom, mommy” until she finally answers, “WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!?”, and he simply says, “hi”. That was pretty much me yesterday.
The plan originally was for the girls to come with me to the airport, but the weather here for the last few days or so has been around 0 degrees and the airport from my house is about 45 minutes away, so the girls decided to stay home with my wife. Turns out, it was a very good idea. What was supposed to be about a total of 2 hours in the car, turned in to 4! My mom’s flight came in on time, but there was another plane in their gate, so they had to wait, and wait, and wait.
So, what does the person in my position do? Well, you have a few options.
- You could drive around in circles, because if you stop and wait at the baggage claim you get scolded and possibly even ticketed.
- You could go in the parking garage, park, and go inside.
- You could sit in the cell phone waiting area, hoping it’s less than 30 minutes so you don’t have to pay for parking.
I chose option 3. Sitting and waiting that long could drive anyone bonkers, especially me, but it wasn’t worth driving home and coming back. Besides that, it could’ve been anywhere from a half hour, to 2 hours before she was finally out and had her bags. SO, you ask, what do you do while you’re sitting in the car just waiting around? You play on Snap Chat! You make little voice changer videos from snap chat and send them back and forth with your sister, and send them to your wife. (See video below.) The snap chat filters always make me laugh!
We finally got home at 10pm and the girls were sleeping, but we gave them kisses and let them sleep. This morning, we heard them awake again. This time they woke up and went STRAIGHT to Nini. I have to admit it was kind of nice to not have them come and get ME right away. Nini always brings the girls little treats, and they know it. It was so funny to me because just the other day they were talking about how Nini was going to bring twinkies and cheetos. I thought they were just assuming she would, but turns out she had actually asked them what they wanted when they were on the phone last week. When my mom pulled out the treats and set them out on the counter, I knew the girls would be even more excited. When Sara and I got up and came out, they asked right away if they could have treats off the counter. My first instinct was no, you should have some real breakfast first, but then I thought, it’s a special day, go for it!!!
Sometimes I get wrapped up in the fact that when the girls are with their dad they are constantly out doing stuff, and I don’t want them to ever not want to come be with me because of that. As I hear the singing, and count the times I’ve been asked how much longer, and watch the girls cling to their Nini, I am reminded that it’s not about the money and the outings. Spending quality time together, regardless of what you’re doing, is what gives us the warm and fuzzy feelings.
Happy New Year everyone!
Thanks for reading!
*Disclaimer: I’ve never posted a little video on a blog post before so I don’t know if it will work. Also, I know it looks creepy, but I was having fun on snap chat last night while sitting in my car waiting and waiting and waiting. Don’t worry, it’s short and funny!
How do you instill in your children that it’s not about the money?
ESPECIALLY when you’re a divorced parent, and the other parent is CONSTANTLY all about the expensive things and events!?!?!
What is inspiring this post, is the fact that my children (6 and 8 years old) are with their dad and his girlfriend and her 2 daughters (same age) at the Katy Perry concert tonight. Now, first of all it’s a Monday night, second of all the concert doesn’t start until 7, which means Katy Perry herself will not come out until AT LEAST 8:30, third of all it’s an hour away, fourth of all their bedtime is BY 8 on school nights, and fifth of all my 8 year old, in 3rd grade this year, is already having trouble being responsible and doing what she’s supposed to do even WITH EXTRA help and reminders from her teacher and us. I expressed my concern but tickets were bought without my knowledge (which isn’t something that we require letting each other know about typically unless it’s a time when the kids are scheduled to be with the other parent).
Let me also just mention that they were in Disney for a week in September, they went to a play at the Pabst theatre in Milwaukee on Sunday and all the girls were decked out in brand new fancy dresses and shoes, and they are constantly doing things like going to movies, or bounce America, or whatever it may be.
I think that it is really great to be able to provide the kids with these wonderful life experiences, but I also strongly feel that if it’s constant, it’s less appreciated and more expected. Don’t get me wrong, I want my children to have these fun things and experiences, but I also feel the need to make sure that they know they aren’t entitled to this stuff. If behavior, school work, or whatever it may be, has not been up to par, then the fun things get cancelled or postponed.
I suppose I have to do what I do as far as discipline goes on my end and making sure my girls know they need to earn things, and that not everything just gets handed to them. I can not control what goes on in his household. I can let him know if I disagree with something, but ultimately if he chooses to take them to a concert on a school night and bought the tickets, there’s nothing I can do about it.
The girls at the ages they are right now, are still pretty good at being appreciative, but I can’t help but worry that they are going to start becoming spoiled brats.
I guess this was mostly just a vent, but if anyonehas any tips on the subject, please share!
Blogmas 2017!
Sageolivia inspired me to try Blogmas 2017! I like challenges or specific things to blog about in addition to my own ideas and I think this will be fun! Join me in the fun if you’d like!!!!
You’ll probably see a good handful of Elf on the Shelf posts, Sparkles and Emma arrived last night! They were tired from the long trip so last night was pretty simple, but it’s magical to see the excitement in my children each morning!
Snippet – Here is a tiny snippet of one session of therapy in a shift I worked this week.
This particular child has moods some days that can make your head spin!
ME: “Hi! Are you ready to go play? We are going to go outside first today, it’s so nice out!”
CHILD: (While kicking and squirming and screaming and crying) “No! No outside! Go away, go away! Not socks and shoes!”
ME: “Yes, come on let’s hurry, we have to take a walk and find some sticks and pine cones to make some new ornaments for the tree. I need your help!”
CHILD: (still screaming and now trying to hide) “No, no, no! I don’t want outside!”
ME: “You can walk or I will help you.”
CHILD: “No no no no no no nooooooooo!”
ME: (silently pick him up and walk through the house to the back door and go outside)
CHILD: “No no no! Put me down!”
ME: (silently set him down carefully on the sidewalk pathway) “Alright, let’s see, OH LOOK! I see TONS of sticks! Help me pick them, there are so many, we can find some really good ones for our snowman ornaments!”
CHILD: (screaming and crying at this point, no words)
ME: “Ok, I will set my timer for you, you can have one minute to cry it out, and then we will play.” (set the timer on my phone and set it down next to him)
CHILD: (continued to cry until he heard the timer, and then he stopped, not saying anything)
ME: “Ooh it’s time to play! Let’s go find some things for our ornaments, and then we can take some toys out of the garage.”
CHILD: (stands up, takes my hand, begins to walk with me) “No! Go back, go back the other way!” (but no tears and not trying to let go of my hand)
ME: “Let’s go check by the pine tree, I’ll bet we can find lots of pine cones! Hmmm, I don’t see any, do you?”
CRUNCH!
ME: “OH NO! I just stepped on one!” (I bent down and picked it up to see how smashed it was, and to show it to him so we could talk about it) “Uh oh look, I smushed it!”
CHILD: (giggles and looks up at me) “Uh ohhh, it’s hurt!”
ME: “Awe, I’m sorry little pine cone, I didn’t see you there.”
CHILD: (giggles harder) “Yeah you naughty pine cone!”
ME: “Ooh hey look, see the white stuff on here, that’s called sap. The syrup you eat on your pancakes is made of sap. Want to smell it?”
CHILD: (sniffs pine cone)
ME: “Does it smell like syrup?”
CHILD: “Nope, it smell like sap.”
ME: “Oh no! This sap is so sticky, look at my hands! They are full of sap, yuck! You better watch out, I’m going to get you with my sticky sap hands!”
CHILD: (huge smiles and laughing) “What?! Ahhh noooo!” (and runs away laughing)
We proceeded to chase each other back and forth around the yard for a few minutes before going back inside. I never knew how sticky sap actually is. It took me 3 times of washing with soap and hot water before I could get enough off to actually function. He thought this was funny too, as I was trying to wash and making a big deal about it not coming off.
This all played out in about 15 minutes. This is why I love my job!
Oh and P.S. – if you’re in Wisconsin and looking for an opportunity to work with children, or know somebody who does, check out this link. We are always looking for people!
And you thought YOUR Monday was bad!
I thought MY Monday was going to be bad when I woke up with this head cold still hanging around, and the pipe under our bathroom sink just decided to fall apart. May not seem like a big deal to some since we were able to quick fix it ourselves fortunately, but since we’ve moved in this house a year ago, we have had one plumbing issue after another.
Later in the afternoon I decided to take the child I was working with at that time outside to play. The weather is pretty perfect here today so I just had to take advantage. You never know what you’ll get in October in Wisconsin, but you DO know at this time of year your days are numbered for nice weather.
I’d like to mention, before I go on, that this particular client of mine is a 4 year old boy with autism. This entire spring and summer he has been deathly afraid of ALL bugs. Only very recently has he been able to tolerate being somewhat near a bug without a complete meltdown. About 2 weeks ago or so we had found a tiny little toad outside in his yard and he was intrigued. He did not want to hold it or touch it, but he would look at it carefully, and tell me about it. It was brown, and bumpy, and had 4 legs. The last few times we have gone outside since then, he has wanted to search for the toad. We haven’t seen him since, unfortunately, but I’m sure we will come across another one eventually.
Now today when we were outside, we went to the garage to get out some things to play with, and as I reached for the door handle I noticed this leaf bug (see pic above) hanging out on the top of a broom stick that was propped up against the garage. My little boy was right next to me, and without thinking I shouted, “WOW! Look at this cool leaf bug!” As soon as it came out of my mouth I thought, Oh shit he’s gonna freak! But he didn’t! I decided to get a stick and carefully move the bug on to it so we could get a closer look. As we were observing the bug, and describing it, I noticed it only had 5 legs! Insects are supposed to have 6! It is hard to tell in the picture I took since you can’t see all the legs anyway, but one of the 2 big back legs was GONE!
Here’s where my title comes in…. I thought MY Monday started off bad, can you even IMAGINE losing one of your six legs, and one of the LARGEST ones at that?!?!? I guess that’s the life of an insect, but it made me think. It seems to be so super easy to focus on the bad or hard things that are happening in our lives, but remembering what we are thankful for always takes a little more effort. Don’t ask me why, because I have no idea, but I do know that I am not the only one that thinks that way. In my personal journal, that I hand write things in, it’s filled with mostly entries that have at least started out negatively, if not were entirely negative. One day though, I was given the suggestion to journal more often, even if I thought I had nothing to write about. It was a challenge to me at first, but when I was taught that the entries could simply be 3 things that I was thankful for that came out of each day, or 3 things that made me smile, or 3 things I learned, I realized it wasn’t so hard. I realized that I didn’t have to only journal about what was bothering me, and it felt GOOD to write about happy thoughts. I LOVE writing about, and sharing happy thoughts. Now that I do it more publicly, it’s even more rewarding just to know that I have possibly made even ONE person smile today.
Who knew a leaf bug could be inspiration for an entire post?!?! I bet he doesn’t even know he’s famous now! (Do leaf bugs have genders? Maybe it’s a she.) Well either way, the leaf bugs of the world have now been given some huge street cred. (Eat that you nasty wasp who stung me last weekend!!!)
Playground Slides, It’s the Simple Things
I just KNEW today would be a good day! (2 posts in one day probably won’t happen too often) As I’ve mentioned before, I work with young children who have autism. Once a week with one of my clients we attend a class where all the children get to be with their peers for some fun, structured, learning time. During this time each week we are lucky enough to be at a location that has a playground, so we get to have outside time. I have been working with this particular child for a year and a half now, and the progress he has made all around has been mind blowing to me.
This child has never been one to enjoy playing outside, so part of our therapy was to introduce to him, and teach him how to play outside. We would make visual schedules for the things we were going to do when we went out, and go through each one in order. For example a schedule might say, 1. Ball Play, 2. Ring around the rosie, 3. Chase, and 4. Bubbles. Each of these activities would have a picture to go along with it. Now though, when we go outside he is able to ask for what he would like to play, and he will also play what I suggest without having to have the schedule. Seeing this progress, and reflecting on how far he has come is EXTREMELY rewarding to me! Seeing these children grow and knowing that I have helped them get here, brings happy tears. When you work with a child for this amount of time, and you grow a bond and relationship with not only the child but the family too, you can’t help but to feel so much emotion.
Now here is where it gets better, my reasoning for writing this post. This afternoon we were outside playing on the playground. To give you a picture of this child, when we first started this class at the beginning of summer, he only wanted to walk around the playground, pick up and throw the woodchips or try to eat them, pull leaves off of trees, or walk through the bushes. I slowly, and I mean slowly, was able to get him to come by the equipment. We started with just watching the other children for short periods of time. Next we moved to touching it with our hands. The next step was to stand on the first stair. After that we graduated to climbing up multiple steps, and the different types of “steps” the playground has to climb. (The climbing did not start until the beginning of September.) All of those steps though were with manual guidance from myself or other adults. The last 2 weeks he has been initiating the climbing, and going up on his own. Now that, in itself, is HUGE!
Well, today I decided that I was going to try to get him to go down a slide. He has always said no, or screamed and ran away when I’ve tried to get him to go down a slide with me. I was kind of waiting for the right time to approach it, and I knew that I’d have to do a sneak attack. On the smaller of the 2 structures, he had climbed up to the top and was just standing and looking as I followed right behind. I said to him, “Let’s go on the slide!”, as I reached for him and sat down at the top of the slide. He screamed, “NO! No slide!”, but I followed through and set him on my lap. He tried to grab the top in order to stop us from going down, but I put his hands down and just went. Now mind you, this slide was a slow, plastic, curved slide that at the top was about 6 feet from the ground. I wasn’t trying to torture or traumatize him by any means. When we got to the bottom he had a HUGE GRIN on his face. My goal for him was for one time down the slide today. When I saw the smile, my heart felt happy. I asked him if he wanted to go again and he said no, so I just left it at that. I did not want to push it. I knew we would graduate up to more. About 5 minutes or so later I asked him again if he wanted to go down with me. He immediately said no, followed quickly by, Yes, yes slide. I could NOT believe it, I was SO EXCITED! So we climbed up the steps and sat down, and he plopped right down in my lap. I started with, “Ready, Set” and he said “GO!” After this 2nd time, HE started asking ME to go down the slide. After another time on this same slide, he jumped up off of it, looked at me and reached his hand out and said, “Come on, let’s go, this one.” I grabbed his hand and he led me toward the larger structure and we started to climb up. I asked him, are we going down the big slide? He said yes! My insides were so filled with happiness, and excitement I could barely contain it. Again, I sat down and he plopped right down in my lap, and it was ready, set, go! I checked again to see if he was smiling and he was! (As I’m writing this right now I feel those feelings inside me and I cannot stop grinning!) I was SOOOOO PROUD!!!! I made sure to grab him and squeeze him and tell him how excited and proud I was of him, and he just smiled and then ran off to play. I could NOT stop smiling and my insides were shaking. There are moments all the time when I get super excited and feel proud and happy when I see that lightbulb moment in the kids, but this one, it definitely takes the cake!
I’m telling you, it’s the little things in life that seem to bring the biggest joys. I would have never thought that a child’s first time down a slide could make me feel so great.
Cake By the Ocean 